Conflict coaching

The task of conflict coaching consists in showing the person coached his own resonances 

The understanding of conflict is based on the assumption that the basic situation has developed because different behavior patterns of persons participating in a conflict are not understood or misunderstood. In case of a conflict, the persons involved assume that the person opposite intends to attack them. This is why the conflict process is perceived as exciting.

This personal attack is usually not intended at all. There are normally so very different behavior patterns available and so very different perceptions that the parties involved in the conflict cannot put themselves in the place of the other ones and cannot imagine either that the conflict opponent probably has another behavior pattern than just his / her own one. If these different behavior patterns are additionally accompanied by a resonance, there is nothing left to stop a dispute any more. “Resonance” means that the hardly suppressed excitement of the conflict partner is expressed in exactly these behavior patterns. The resonant partner of a conflict protects himself against these excited reactions by means of fear or blocking. This mechanism which actually serves for defense can also be the starting point of a counter-attack. This usually happens if the occurring behavior pattern which so far has been suppressed is found particularly precarious.

The task of conflict coaching consists in showing the person coached his own resonances and to put them into his consciousness. If the coached participant recognizes his resonances and sees which proportion they have in the origin of the conflict, the feeling of having been personally attacked is overcome and he is in the position to question and to change his behavior patterns. The conflict coaching is strongly dissociated from other efforts for conformity and unison like mediation, for example.